A Bill of Rights for Parents of Children with Special Needs By Ellen S

A Bill of Rights for Parents of Children with Special Needs
By Ellen S.
You can visit Ellen's blog at www.lovethatmax.blogspot.com

We, the parents, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure tranquility (and sanity) and promote the general welfare of our families, do ordain and establish this Bill of Rights.

* We have the right to expect our kids to be seen for who they are as individuals, not as labels or diagnoses.

* We have a right to trust our instincts about our kids and realize that experts don't always know best.

* We have a right to ignore the remarks, questions and stares and not give explanations or excuses for why our children are the way they are.

* We have a right to choose alternative therapies for our kids.

* We have a right to roll our eyes straight out of our heads when we encounter certain mothers who brag nonstop that their kids are the smartest students/best athletes ever.

* We have a right to wonder “What if…” every so often.

* We have a right to play aimlessly with our children. Not for therapeutic or educational purposes—just for fun.*

We have a right to blast Bruce Springsteen/Tom Petty/Any Rocker, down a glass of Pinot Grigio, get a pedicure, go out with the girls or do all of the aforementioned at once if that's what it takes to avoid burnout.

* We have a right to react to people’s ignorance in whatever way we feel necessary.

* We have a right to not always have our child be the poster child for his/her disability and some days be just a child.

* We have a right to go through the grieving process and realize we may never quite be "over it."

* We have the right to give our kids chores. Even better if they can learn to make breakfast in bed for us.

* We have a right to stretch the truth when we fail to do the exercises the therapist asked us to do this week because we were too darn tired or overwhelmed.

* We have a right to have yet more Pinot Grigio.

* We have a right to fire any doctor or therapist who's negative, unsupportive or who generally says suck-y things.

* We have a right to tell family and friends that everything may not be OK—at least not how they mean it, anyway.

* We have a right to hope for an empty playground so we don’t have to look into another child’s eyes and answer the question, “What’s wrong with him?”

* We have a right to bawl on the way back from the playground, the birthday party, the mall or anyplace where our children’s challenges become glaringly obvious in the face of all the other kids doing their typical-development things.

* We have the right to give our children consequences for their behavior. They may be “special” but they can still be a royal pain in the ass.

* We have a right to take a break from Googling therapies, procedures, medicine and treatments for our kids to research upcoming concerts, exotic teas or anything not related to our child’s disabilities.

* We have a right to talk about how great our kids are when people don’t get it.

* We have the right to not always behave as inspirational icons who never complain or gripe about the sometimes awful realities of raising a child with special needs.

* We have a right to expect quality services for our children not just when they’re infants, preschoolers and elementary school age, but when they’re in older grades and adults, too.

* We have a right to adequate funding for those services and to not have to kick, scream or endure a wait for them.

* We have a right to get tired of people saying, as they give that sympathy stare, "I don't know how you do it."

* We have a right to wish that sometimes things could be easier.

* We have a right to cheer like crazy anytime our children amaze us—or weep like lunatics.

* We have a right to push, push and push some more to make sure our children are treated fairly by the world.

For a printable copy, email
lovethatmax@gmail.com

Reach By Trixie Asirvatham

Reach
By Trixie Asirvatham

Dreams, aspirations, goals ... they are the guiding forces that propel you through life, through the realm of thought. The Inner Dialogue is where it all begins. It shapes your actions and your life. Catch your thinking when it gets into the grey, dark, negative area, and talk to yourself with uplifting thoughts. In a world that is artificial and self-serving, you need to be true to yourself and to invest in real and rewarding relationships. This will give you the inner strength you need to withstand life's challenges.

Reachin' up, reachin' high
Reachin' higher than the sky
Reachin' out for a goal you've never tried before
Push your body to the brink
You've got more strength than you think
You've got it in you, you're gonna make it if you try.
And when the going gets rough
And when the playing gets toughJ
ust keep on trying...For life is a game and the aim is to succeed
And when you reach your dream, it's not the end
There's another goal beyond the bend...Another race to run, another hill to climb
And you can do it all over again"
Cause you've got what it takes,
You've got what it takes to succeed.

Reachin' out - reachin' wide
Reachin' wider than the oceanside
Reachin' out to others to give and to receive
Put away your foolish pride
Let their counsel be your guide
And you can ride their strength as you ride the ocean-tide
And when the strong winds blow
And when the waves lash below
You'll keep on sailing
For their strength is yours if you only will receive
And when they let you down
Don't let it get you down,
they're only human, just like you,
Leave the hurt behind
Look around, you'll find
You can love all over again
Because you've got what it takes, You've got what it takes to give.

Reachin' down, deep inside
Into the hidden wealth of your mind
Where your thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams abide...You could come up with mud or slime
Or you could strike gold in time
In the dark you'll see your true self shining through.
And when problems surround you,
Don't let them confound you,
Look within you...You know that steel is melted in the furnace before it's strong;
So work on your weakness, and build on your strengths
There's no end to what you can do
You've got a lot to give
You've got a lot to live
And you can do it all over again'
Cause you've got what it takes,
You've got what it takes to be you.

Reachin' up - reachin' higher
Reachin' out - reachin' wider
Reachin' in - deep within you
You can do it ...all over again
Because you've got what it takes
You've got what it takes to be you.

A Child's Hymn By Charles Dickens

A CHILD'S HYMN
By Charles Dickens

Hear my prayer, O heavenly Father,
Ere I lay me down to sleep;
Bid Thy angels, pure and holy,
Round my bed their vigil keep.

My sins are heavy, but Thy mercy
Far outweighs them, every one;
Down before Thy cross I cast them,
Trusting in Thy help alone.

Keep me through this night of peril
Underneath its boundless shade;
Take me to Thy rest, I pray Thee,
When my pilgrimage is made.

None shall measure out Thy patience
By the span of human thought;
None shall bound the tender mercies
Which Thy Holy Son has bought.

Pardon all my past transgressions,
Give me strength for days to come;
Guide and guard me with Thy blessing
Till Thy angels bid me home.

Serenity Prayer - Reinhold Niebuhr

The Serenity Prayer
-Reinhold Niebuhr-

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;a
nd wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3, 5-6

If I Could Speak, Here's What I Would Say - By Colin Knauf

If I Could Speak, Here's What I would Say...
By Colin Knauf

If I could speak, here's what I'd say.
Happy in your arms, I want to stay.
I am your gift, and you are mine too!
Love bonds together, both me and you.

Don't let your schedule furrow your brow.
We need to enjoy this time, right now.
Right now is the best time for me to hold.
Wait 'til you're less busy, and I'll be too old.

Cuddle me tenderly, close to your chest.
It is here next to you, that I am at my best.
Your rhythmic breathing and beating heart,
contentment and comfort, to me impart.

To see you, smell you, assured by your voice,
all wonderfully simple, yet help me rejoice.
A cuddle, a kiss, some play and frolic,
Can banish a mood, and prevent nasty colic.

When we're 'in touch', it reduces our stress,
we are happiest then, and worry much less.
Safe in your arms, dispels all my fears.
My beaming smiles replace anxious tears.

Please hold me, hug me, show me your day,
you'll be sharing your love, in a marvelous way.
My learning is best when perched at your side,
your arms my classroom, and you as my guide.

Please hold me up high, so that I might see
all the many wonders, surrounding me.
When you keep me close, as you socialize,
my mind expands and more clearly I vocalize!

Take me with you, balanced upon your hip
when you work, walk or take a short trip.
My muscle tone and self esteem are greater,
sooner I will walk, rather than later.

Give me hugs and security, for which I long,
so that I know you love me and that I belong.
With your love and help, I will find my wings,
so that I may move on to much greater things.

Very soon you will find, you're in great shape
your clothes will fit well and beautifully drape.
Secure in your love, I won't cry or cling,
if you leave me awhile and go out on a fling.

To dream of our future is significant too,
And I know a career is important to you.
When I am older, we will join in the race,
and we'll be more able, to keep up the pace.

Right now, what I know, as certain and right i
s that you are my sun, the source of my light.
I need very little, neither expensive or new.
What I need is your love, your time and you.

A Simple Hug - Aurthor Unknown

A SIMPLE HUG
Aurthor Unknown

There's something in a simple hug,
That always warms the heart;
It welcomes us back home.
And makes it easier to part.

A hug is a way to share the joy.
And sad times we go through,
Or just a way for friends to say,
They like you 'cause you're you.

Hugs are meant for anyone.
For whom we really care,
From your grandma to your neighbor,
Or a cuddly teddy bear.

A hug is an amazing thing --
It's just the perfect way To show the love we're feeling,
But can't find the words to say.

It's funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good;
In every place and language,
It's always understood.

And hugs don't need new equipment,
Special batteries or parts -
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.

Please Daddy, Let's Go - Author Unknown

Please Daddy, Let's Go
Aurthor Unknown

A little girl with shining eyes,
Her upturned face aglow,
Said, "Daddy, it's almost time
For Sunday School, you know;
Let's go and hear of Jesus' love
Of how He died for all,
To take them to His home above
Who on His name will call."

"Oh no," said Daddy, "Not to-day;
I've worked hard all the week;
And I must have one day of rest,
And fishing's find they say;
So run along, don't bother me,
We'll go ANOTHER day."

Months and years have passed away,
But Daddy hears that plea no more--
"Let's go to Sunday School..."
Those childish days are o'er.
And now that Daddy's growing old,
And life is almost through,
He finds some time to go to church,
BUT, what does daughter do?

She says, "Oh, daddy, not to-day.
Was out almost all night;
I've got to get a little sleep:B
esides, I look a fright."
Then daddy lifts a trembling hand
To brush away the tears;
Again he hears that pleading voice,
Distinctly through the years,
He sees a small girl's upturned face,
Upturned with eyes aglow,
Saying, "It's time for Sunday School.
Please, daddy, won't you go?"

When God Created Father's - By Erma Bombeck

When God Created Fathers
By Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame.

And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."

And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"

And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy.

And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."

And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands."

And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.

And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"

And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had every seen when the angel could contain herself no longer.

"That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Ban bury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?"
The angel shutteth up.

"Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father." - Proverbs 17:7

Daddy's Hands - Written/Preformed By Holly Dunn

I'm not much into Country music, but this song is one of my all time favorite songs! The words to this song are so heart warming, touching and in my case, SO TRUE!

DADDY'S HANDS
Written & Preformed By Holly Dunn

I remember Daddy's hands folded silently in prayer,
And reaching out to hold me when I had a nightmare.
You could read quite a story in the calluses and lines.
Years of work and worry had left their mark behind.

I remember Daddy's hands,
How they held my Mama tight,
And patted my back for something I'd done right.
There are things I've forgotten that I loved about that man,
But I'll always remember the love in Daddy's hands.

Daddy's hands, were soft and kind when I was crying.
Daddy's hands, were hard as steel when I'd done wrong.
Daddy's hands weren't always gentle,
But I've come to understand,
There was always love in Daddy's hands.

I remember Daddy's hands working till they bled,
Sacrificed unselfishly just to keep us all fed.
If I could do things over,
I'd live my life again,
And never take for granted the love in Daddy's hands.

A Father Means - Aurthor Unknown

A FATHER MEANS...
Aurthor Unknown

A Father means so many things...
A understanding heart,
A source of strength and of support,
Right from the very start.
A constant readiness to help,
In a kind and thoughtful way.
With encouragement and forgiveness,
No matter what comes your way.
A special generosity and always affection, too.
A Father means so many things,
When he's a man like you...

What Makes A Dad - Aurthor Unknown

What Makes a Dad
-Aurthor Unknown-

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities
,When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... Dad

Happy Father's Day!

I know that this is a day or so early, but I have a few poems that I would like to share with ALL of the very special Dads, stepdads, granddads, and any guy who steps forward to be a Father figure for a child who doesn't have a Dad in their lives. We love you!

IEP's

I thought that this was too cute to not post. It is so very fitting for us parents who are having to go through the IEP challenge!

The IEP

I do not like these IEPs
I do not like them, Jeeze Louise
We test, we check
We plan, we meet
But nothing ever seems complete.
Would you, could you
Like the form?
I do not like the form I see
Not page 1, not 2, not 3
Another change
A brand new box
I think we all
Have lost our rocks.
Could you all meet here or there?
We could not all meet here or there.
We cannot all fit anywhere.
Not in a room
Not in the hall
There seems to be no space at all.
Would you, could you meet again?
I cannot meet again next week
No lunch no prep
Please hear me speak.
No, not at dusk. No, not at dawn
At 4 pm I should be gone.
Could you hear while all speak out?
Would you write the words they spout?
I could not hear, I would not write
This does not need to be a fight.
Sign here, date there,
Mark this, check that
Beware the students ad-vo-cat(e).
You do not like them
So you say
Try again! Try again!
And you may.
If you will let me be,
I will try again
You will see.
Say!
I almost like these IEPs
I think I'll write 6003.
And I will practice day and night
Until they say
"You got it right!"

Friendship Support Education Humor By Andee Dunn

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P S.U.P.P.O.R.T E.D.U.C.A.T.I.O.N H.U.M.O.R
by Andee Dunn (Jan 1996)

FAITH . . . that God will never give me more that I can handle
RESOURCEFULNESS. . . to find what my children need
INTELLIGENCE. . . to comprehend all the medical and technical knowledge I'll be given
ENERGY. . . for all the many trips to doctors, clinics, hospitals, schools, etc.
NEIGHBORS. . . and friends that lend a hand now and then
DETERMINATION . . . that my children will each reach his or her maximum potential
STRENGTH . . . to continue in the face of depressing odds
HUMOR . . . to teach my children there's joy in life with special needs
INTUITION. . . to be able to know the right thing at the right time
PERSEVERANCE. . . so I can fight for the rights of my children

SUPPORT . . . from others that have 'been there' before me
UNDERSTANDING . . . for those times when they do what only multiples can do
PEACE. . . in knowing that I am doing my absolute best for my children
PRACTICALITY . . . so the dishes get done and the laundry too
OPEN-MINDEDNESS . . . when looking for the best therapies for each child
REMINDERS . . . so no one or nothing is forgotten
TENDERNESS . . . that I may not be too harsh when responding to ignorance

ENDURANCE . . . to get me through the times when no one knows why it didn't work
DEDICATION . . . to repeat thousands of necessary therapies upon my children
UNCONVENTIONAL . . . so I can make use of something not usually used that way
CONFIDENCE . . . in my abilities to know what my children need
ACCEPTANCE. . . so I can thank God everyday for giving me such special children
TRUST . . . in myself and those I'm close to
INSIGHT. . . to sense what's needed by a child that can tell me their needs
ORDER. . . so there is at least a basic plan each day
NURTURANCE . . . giving it and getting it

HUMOR . . . so I don't forget to laugh when they do something funny
UNRELENTING JOY . . . so I can feel it, teach it, and give it
MILDNESS . . . for those times when the kids are rivaling siblings
OPTIMISM . . . so I can see things from a brighter point of view
READINESS . . . for the unexpected

Little Angels

Little Angels

When God calls little children to dwell with Him above
we mortals sometime question the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with, the death of one small child
who does so much to make our world, seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to his fold
so He picks a rosebud before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few
to make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult,
still somehow we must try
the saddest word mankind knows will always be "Goodbye."
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind,
must realize God loves children,
"Angels Are Hard To Find."

Special Children

Special Children

God gave this child to you to guide,
to love, to walk through life beside.
A little child, so full of charms,
to fill a pair of loving arms.
God picked you out because He knew
how safe His child would be with you.

God's Design By Beth Lohse

God's Design
By Beth Lohse

My child has some special needs,
but that's part of God's design.
I just need to remember that
God's will is best, not mine.
My child is not a burden,
he's a blessing from above.
Sometimes we face a struggle,
but our lives are filled with love.
Put Jesus at the center,
and forget your selfish ways.
The Lord will surely bless you,a
nd will help you through your days.

To All Parents By Edgar A Guest

To All Parents
Edgar A. Guest

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said,
for you to love the while she lives and mourn for when she's dead.
It may be six or seven years, or twenty two or three,
but will you, till I call her back, take care of her for me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
and shall her stay be brief,
you'll have her lovely memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise she will stay, since all from earth return,
but there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
and from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you.
Now will you give her all your love,
nor think the labour vain,
nor hate me when I come to call to take her back again?

I fancied that I heard them say:
Dear Lord, thy will be done!
For all the joy thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter her with tenderness,
we'll love her while we may,
and for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay;
but shall the angels call for her much sooner than we've planned,
we'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.

Ode To Special Moms By Erma Bombeck

Ode to Special Moms
By Erma Bombeck,

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children.

Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint,
Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint,
Cecilia. "Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard.
He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance, cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Angels Unaware

Angels Unaware

The gift I give to you will not be made of gold,
but it’s beauty is more splendid and precious to behold.
The hands of man could not defile this gift so pure and sweet
for it’s constructed by a higher being with whom man cannot compete.

The very presence of this gift can warm the human heart.
The joy it brings is heavenly,
and never will depart.

I’ll give you mountains of laughter,
but there’ll be some valley’s too.
I will not leave you comfortless...
I’ll be right here for you.

Not everyone can have this gift.
You are the chosen ones...you see.
I looked upon the earth below,
and saw that YOU would be.

I will give you extra strength which you will need to tarry;
and if you’ll call upon my name,
your burdens I will carry.
There will be ones who don’t understand,
they have not eyes to see
the beauty of this special gift;
given to you, from me.

Lift up your arms,
receive with joy the special gift I bear.
My chosen ones, I give to you an Angel.....unaware

It Matters To This One

IT MATTERS TO THIS ONE

As I walked along the seashore,
this young boy greeted me.
He was tossing stranded starfish back to the deep blue sea.
I said, "Tell me why you bother,
why you waste your time this way.
There's a million stranded starfish,
does it matter anyway?"

And he said, "It matters to this one.
It deserves a chance to grow.
It matters to this one,
I can't save them all I know.
But it matters to this one,
I'll return it to the sea.
It matters to this one,
and it matters to me."

I walked into the classroom, The teacher greeted me.
She was helping Johnny study,
he was struggling I could see.
I said, "Tell me why you bother,
why waste your time this way.
Johnny's only one of millions,
does it matter anyway?'

And she said, "It matters to this one,
he deserves a chance to grow.
It matters to this one,
I can't save them all I know.
But it matters to this one,
I'll help him be what he can be.
It matters to this one,
and it matters to me.

My Anticipated Son

My Anticipated Son

I anticipated complaining of a waking baby;
Not of being grateful he's able to wake at all.
I anticipated the wonder of time rushing past,
Not of reflecting on milestones so small.
I anticipated crying at immunizations and bumps while learning his way;
Not of agonizing at more tests, evaluations, and word of more delays.
I anticipated choices over preschool, clothes, and scout troops;
Not of choices between hospitals, specialists, and which support groups.
I anticipated loving him, but enjoying his independence from me soon;
Not of loving him so much I'd want to keep him sheltered in my cocoon.
I anticipated health and perfection when my baby was inside,
thinking anything less would be tragic;
But now that he is here,
my special son had worked some kind of magic.
I anticipated anger and disappointment at this fate;
Not the joy and growth and knowledge that have become mine as of late.
I anticipated something different, that is certainly true;
But that's because I never could have anticipated one I love as much as you.

The Outsider

THE OUTSIDER

I'm handicapped and wheelchair bound
Expected to sit and not make a sound
Just to smile and let the World go by
With Saintly patience and never sigh.

Inside my head thoughts come and go
Ideas are born which long to flow
Flow from my lips and link me with others
But my words sound strange so no one bothers.

My tongue and lips do not as I ask
I cannot perform the simplest task
But I have a mind and I'm still there
Don't lock me out in your ignorance there.

Talk, though I seem not to understand
Touch me, include me, and hold my hand
I am alive and I have time to give
Let me share in the life I was given to live.

The Little Things

The Little Things

My hands were busy through the day,
I didn't have much time to play
The little games you asked me to.
I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your clothes,
I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book
And ask me, please to share your fun,
I'd say, "A little later son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night,
And hear your prayers,
turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door.
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short,
and years rush past,
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side.
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no children's games to play,
No good night kiss,
no prayers to hear.
That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy, now lie still
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I might go back and do
The little things you asked me to.

Our Gift Of Love By Herman Ross Fillingane

Our Gift of Love
by Herman Ross Fillingane

We first look for reasons
On where to place the blame
Though their health may be different
Their heart is still the same
We're sent a child with so much love to give
With a fight inside
And a reason to live
To be touched by a love
That few will ever see
Our child can show the world
The way love should be.

Whose Child?

"Whose Child?"

"Whose child is this?" I asked one day
Seeing a little one out at play
"Mine", said the parent with a tender smile
"Mine to keep a little while"
To bathe his hands and comb his hair
To tell him what he is to wear
To prepare him that he may always be good
And each day do the things he should

"Whose child is this?" I asked again
As the door opened and someone came in
"Mine", said the teacher with the same tender smile
"Mine, to keep just for a little while"
To teach him how to be gentle and kind
To train and direct his dear little mind
To help him live by every rule
And get the best he can from school

"Whose child is this?" I ask once more
Just as the little one entered the door
"Ours" said the parent and the teacher as they smiled
And each took a hand of the little child
Ours to love and train together
Ours this blessed task forever.

Parent's Creed By Harriette B. McCormick

PARENT'S CREED
By Harriette B. McCormick

Help me to guide this child of God
Whom you have entrusted to me
Help me to make his life worth while
To give him the ability to see
That beauty abides in the common place
In the things that around him lie
In the glories of the rising sun
In the myriad of the stars in the night time sky
For in the sureness of night
When man's daily work is through
He renews his strength for the morrow
For the tasks he hopes to pursue

Forget Me Not

...FORGET - ME - NOT...

Our problems are many and varied.
Our struggles are always uphill.
I'm speaking of hundreds of children.
So listen a while if you will.

I want understanding - not pity.
I wish you could treat me the same.
You wouldn't ignore other children.
At least you would ask them their name.
I know I can't answer to tell you.
My face may seem empty and dead.
My body is twisted - but I am alive.
And there are thoughts in my head.

I will not be shut out from the world.
I'm a child and it is my right.
I'm not an object of pity - to be hidden away out of sight.
My parents see me through eyes of love.
And not as others do.
They see things I can achieve.
And I wish that you would too.

As I ask you to forget-me-not,
I beg you to hear my plea.
If I could speak - I would ask you
To please look closer - and see me ....

Hope is not pretending that troubles don't exist.
It is the trust that they will not last forever,
Those hurts will be healed and difficulties overcome.
It is the faith that a source of strength and renewal lies within
to lead us through the dark into the sunshine.

God's Measurements By Linda Romblum

God's Measurements
by Linda Romblum

When God measures our worth - it's said
He places the tape, "round the heart not the head."
This thought brings comfort now to me
Concerning my son, for you see
Timmy's (Add your child's name) not learning as he should,
All the testing and therapies - still not good.
At age 5, developmentally he's between 1 and 2.
He likes many people on this Earth
By most human values, the lesser worth.
"Handicapped", "Disabled" they're thought of.
But not so labeled by a God of love.
For who knows the worth of a human soul?
The total story is yet to unfold.
Our loving Father has a plan for everyone,
And I believe-
Yes! for my son!
Through a glass dimly, now I can't see.
Just what the future is going to be.
But by faith day by day,
God leads me on.
His peace and power help keep me strong.
I sometimes feel a failure -
trying to teach my son.
So often, I feel that Timmy, he's the one, Teaching me, -
of life and faith, and depth of love.
As if a lesson came from above.
His intellect may be small -
But, oh his heart says it all!
So now I pass this message on to you.
It's very plain what we can do.
Value every soul on Earth
As through God's eyes, give them worth.
Care for those who need a helping hand,
Meet their needs if you can,
The joy you'll find is such giving,
Makes life much more worth the living.
And too, it will last when life is 'ore.
And we gather upon eternity's shore.
For God measures our worth - each one,
When life here on Earth is done.
And he places the tape, - I've heard it said,
" Around the heart, and not the head."

A Poem For Moms And Dads

A Poem For Moms And Dads

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my sanity to keep.
For if some peace I do not find,
I'm pretty sure I'll lose my mind.
I pray I find a little quiet Far from the daily family riot.
May I lie back--not have to think about what they're stuffing down the sink, or who they're with,
or where they're at
and what they're doing to the cat.
I pray for time all to myself (did something just fall off a shelf?)
To cuddle in my nice, soft bed (Oh no, another goldfish--dead!)
Some silent moments for goodness sake (Did I just hear a window break?) And that I need not cook or clean-- (well heck, I've got the right to dream) Yes now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my wits about me keep,
But as I look around I know--
I must have lost them long ago!

Challenged

Challenged

Some say I am disabled,
But you know that isn't true.
I simply have a challenge
A little different from you.

My slight inconvenience,
has taught me Things they could not know.
Each obstacle is a victory,
Enabling me to grow.

I'm not really any different,
I cry,
I laugh,
I snore.
I don't want to be treated
As if I'm not a person anymore.

Out of good intentions,
People are afraid to let me try.
But sometimes I have to fall,
And sometimes I need to cry.

God gives me strength and dignity,
And the courage to be all I can be.
For He doesn't see me as disabled,
He just sees me as me.

And He Gave Me To You By Christine Quiroga

And He Gave Me To You
By Christine Quiroga

Ever wonder why you're the lucky one?
The one who came to be?
The oh so very lucky one,
Who was chosen to care for me?
It may not be obvious sometimes,
But you have all I need.
I need someone with patience.
I need someone who is kind.
I need someone who is strong
And not quick to loose their mind.
I need someone who is special.
Someone very special indeed.
I need someone who will care,
Someone to care for me.
You may never know my thoughts.
You may never know my voice.
Just please be reassured,
That was not my choice.
God knew what he was doing
When he gave me to you.
He knew you could handle me.
He knew what you could do.
You see, I am very special.
Someone very special indeed.
I need someone who will care
Someone to care for me.
I know that I am not perfect.
And that I make you cry.
That was not my intent, I'm just your little guy.
One day you will know me.
The way you want to know
But for now I'm just me
No matter how hard that may be
But I am a special person.
Someone very special indeed.
You'll never know how glad I am
That God gave you to me.
You see you are not the lucky one
The lucky one is me.

Blessings In Disguise Are Difficult To Recognize

Blessings In Disguise Are Difficult To Recognize
Author Unknown

God sends his "little angels" in many forms and guises,
They come as lovely miracles that God alone devises...
For he does nothing without purpose, everything's a perfect plan.
To fulfill in Bounteous measure, all He ever promised man...
For every "little angel" with a body bent and broken,
Or a little mind retarded
or little words unspoken,
Is just God's way of trying to reach and touch the hand
Of all who do not know him and cannot understand.
That often through an angel whose "wings will never fly"
The Lord is pointing out the way to His eternal sky.
Where there will be no handicaps of body, soul, or mind.
And where all limitations will be dropped and left behind...
So accept these "little angels"
As gifts from God above.
And thank Him for His lesson in Faith and Hope and Love.

Is The Cross You Wear Too Heavy To Bare?

IS THE CROSS YOU WEAR TOO HEAVY TO BARE?

Complainingly, I told myself,"this cross is too heavy to wear."
And I wondered discontentedly,
why God gave it to me to bare.
And I looked with envy at others,
whose crosses seemed lighter than mine.
And wished that I could change my cross,
for one of a lighter design -
And then, in a dream, I beheld the cross,
I impulsively wanted to wear.
It was fashioned of pearls and diamonds
and gems that were precious and rare.
And when I hung it around my neck
the weight of the jewels and the gold,
Was much too heavy and cumbersome
for my small, slender neck to hold -
So I tossed it aside and before my eyes
was a cross of rose-red flowers
And I said with delight as I put it on,"this cross I can wear for hours" -
For it was so dainty and fragile,
so lovely and light and thin,
But I had forgotten about the thorns
that started to pierce my skin -
And then in my dream I saw "my cross,"
rugged and old and plain.
That clumsy old cross I had looked upon, with discontented disdain -
And at last I knew that God had made this "special cross for me,"
For God in His great wisdom knew
what I before could not see.
That often the loveliest crosses are the heaviest crosses to bear.
For only God is wise enough to choose the cross we can wear -
So never complain about YOUR CROSS,
for your cross has been blest.
God made it JUST FOR YOU to wear and remember,
GOD KNOWS BEST!

Special Child By Sharon Harris

Special Child
by Sharon Harris

You weren't like other children,
And God was well aware,
You'd need a caring family,
With love enough to share.
And so He sent you to us,
And much to our surprise,
You haven't been a challenge,
But a blessing in disguise.

You winning smiles and laughter,
The pleasures you impart,
Far outweigh your special needs,
And melt the coldest heart.

We're proud that we've been chosen,
To help you learn and grow,
The joy that you have brought us,
Is more than you can know.

A precious gift from Heaven,
A treasure from above,
A child who's taught us many things,
But most of all - "Real Love"

You See What?

You See What?

Tell me ... what do you see when you look at this child?
A tragedy of misfortune?
A life defiled?
Do you see the mountains which this wheelchair can't climb?
This 'chair as a prison, whose walls are "time"?
Do you see a handicap, a body that won't work?
Failure, lost potential, nature's joke gone berserk?
Do you visualize very clearly the bills stacked so high, While hopes are all dashed, so there's no reason to try?

Give me your answer;
work it out in your mind,
And I'll prove you could not possibly be any more Blind!
"How can you say that?" you demand, like I'm wild ...
Because you looked at Your Fears, and Not at the Child!
Let me tell you what I see, right from the start When I look at this kid through the eyes of my heart ...

I see a kid who rides horses,
goes swimming,
and laughs,
Who loves the zoo,
and watching giraffes!
I see a daughter who thinks she's the "Belle of the Ball",
A good student,
a friend who likes going to the mall.
Or a son who likes frogs,
and puppies,
and jokes,
But hates all homework,
and lectures from his folks.
I see, not a heartache,
nor embarrassment,
nor trouble,
But a KID, with a LIFE,
who has FUN on the double ...
A person of stature,
even while sitting down,
A hope for tomorrow,
a SMILE, not a frown.
I see a KID, not a condition,
one of God's works of art,
And you'll see it, too, when you look with your heart!

God Sent To Me An Angel By Paul Dammann

God Sent to Me an Angel
Written by Paul Dammann

God sent to me an angel, it had a broken wing.
I bent my head and wondered, "How could God do such a thing?"
When I asked the Father why He sent this child to me,
the answer was forthcoming,
He said "Listen and you'll see."
"My children are all precious, and none is like the rest.
ach one to me is special, and the least is as the best.
I send each one from Heaven and I place it in the care of those who know my mercy, those with love to spare.
Sometimes I take them back again.
Sometimes I let them stay.
No matter what may happen.
I am never far away.
So if you find an angel and you don't know what to do.
Remember, I am with you,
love is all I ask of you."

Teaching Your Child Through Play

"Teaching Your Child Through Play"
Author Unknown

I tried to teach my child with books.
He gave me only puzzled looks.I
tried to teach my child with words.
They passed him by often unheard.
Despairingly, I turned aside.
"How shall I teach this child?" I cried.
Into my hand he put the key.
"Come," he said, "play with me."

My Perfect Child - Author Unknown

My Perfect Child
Arthor Unknown

As my children were born, I wanted them to be perfect.
When they were babies, I wanted them to smile and be content playing with their toys.
I wanted them to be happy and to laugh continually instead of crying and being demanding.
I wanted them to see the beautiful side of life.

As they grew older, I wanted them to be giving instead of selfish.
I wanted them to skip the terrible twos.
I wanted them to stay innocent forever.

As they became teen-agers, I wanted them to be obedient and not rebellious, mannerly and not mouthy.
I wanted them to be full of love, gentle and kind-hearted.
"Oh, God, give me a child like this" was often my prayer.

One day he did.

Some call him handicapped... I call him Perfect!!

Snowflakes By Anna McPherson

Snowflakes
by Anna MacPherson

Each one comes in a different light
A different reason a different night
The brightest thing you'll ever know
Love for them will forever grow
Every one has a different face
Each of them their own special grace
It's in our lives they frolic and sing
Just to see them alive is a beautiful thing
They bring us joy they give us love
They're a beautiful creation from God above
They laugh, they play, make us smile and gleam
Let's walk amongst them and share their dream
A sparkling snowflake is truly unique
Its your understanding they wish to seek
Open your hands and soon you'll see
What beautiful people these snowflakes can be.

Don't Quit - Author Unknown

Don't Quit
Author Unknown

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you frown a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is strange with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you can never tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst,
That you must not quit.

Keeping Things In Perspective

Keeping Things In Perspective
By Mary Gorman,

I hear a mother complain about her child "talking back to her" and I think... I wish my child could talk.
I see two brothers playing tag at the park and I think... I wish my child
could run and walk..
I hear a mother complain about her daughter's choice of wardrobe and I think... I wish my child could choose and dress himself.
I see my son line up his legos and I think... I wish he would build something with them.

I complain about my child's picky eating... and I think about all the children who have to be fed through tubes.
I see my child climbing on the table... and I think of the children who can't walk or climb.
I see a child with leukemia and I think... at least my child is physically healthy.
I receive from and give hugs to my son... and I think of the mothers who've never received a hug from their child.
I hear my son say "Mama" for the first time and I thank God.
I look at my son and wonder at the beautiful gift God has given me.

God only gives us as much as we can handle. Sometimes it seems as though we cannot cope with all the struggles, but we must remember we are CHOSEN as strong parents of VERY Special children.
***************************************************************************
A lot of people have trouble following the meaning of this poem. Here is what I "think" the author is try to convey to the reader.....

The author is comparing "their" child to a typically developing child. The Typical developing child(ren) CAN Do things that the author's child CAN NOT. The author longs for "their" child to be able to do those things, (run, walk, talk, dress themselves).

The author realizes just how thankful "they" should be, because there are other parents, who have children who can't do as much as "the author's" child can (eat my mouth, give hugs, say mama).

Over the years, I have learned that when I'm feeling sorry for myself and wanting more from my son, to STOP and take a long look around. There I always find another parent who has a child more physically or medically compromised than my son. My heart goes out to these parents. I'm reminded to be thankful for what I do have......

I Do Talk To You

"I DO TALK TO YOU"

I know you can't hear me....but I do talk to you.
And I hear everything you say to me too.
I hear you when you laugh, when I do something funny.
I hear you yell "Hooray" when I try so hard.
I hear you tell others how you'd never trade me for the world,
Even with all the trials I came with.
I hear you thank God for what a blessing you have been given.
I hear you encourage me when I can almost do it.
I hear you cry, too, when it gets a little harder.
And when you ask God "Why?!" your baby?
And I know you know I understand somehow.
And you know I listen when you talk to me too.
But, I want you to know, mom...........
I do talk to you.

I Am Your Flower

I Am Your Flower

I am your little flower,
Mom Please help me grow and bloom;
Take the weeds, but leave the roots And give me lots of room.
Mom, you are my gardener;
My sunshine and my rain.
Too much will make me wither With enough, I'll bloom again.
I am your little flower, Mom I'm different from the rest;
Don't pick me Mom, just help me grow;
To be my very best.

Heaven's Very Special Child Author Unknown

Heaven's Very Special Child
Aurthor (Unknown)

A meeting was held quite far from earth.
"It's time again for another birth." Said the Angels to the Lord above,
This special child will need much love. His progress may seem very slow. Accomplishments he may not show. And he'll require extra care, From the folks he meets way down there. He may not run or laugh or play. His thoughts may seem quite far away. In many ways he won't adapt. And he'll be known as handicapped. So let's be careful where he's sent. We want his life to be content.
"Please, Lord, find the parents who, Will do a special job for you."
They will not realize right away, The leading role they're asked to play. But with this child sent from above, Comes stronger faith and richer love. And soon they'll know the privilege given In caring for this gift from Heaven. Their precious charge, so meek and mild, Is Heaven's very special child.

I Am The Child

I Am The Child

I am the child who cannot talk. You often pity me, I see it in your eyes. You wonder how much I am aware of -- I see that as well. I am aware of much, whether you are happy or sad or fearful, patient or impatient, full of love and desire, or if you are just doing your duty by me. I marvel at your frustration, knowing mine to be far greater, for I cannot express myself or my needs as you do.

You cannot conceive my isolation, so complete it is at times. I do not gift you with clever conversation, cute remarks to be laughed over and repeated. I do not give you answers to your everyday questions, responses over my well-being, sharing my needs, or comments about the world about me. I do not give you rewards as defined by the world's standards -- great strides in development that you can credit yourself; I do not give you understanding as you know it.

What I give you is so much more valuable -- I give you instead opportunities. Opportunities to discover the depth of your character, not mine; the depth of your love, your commitment, your patience, your abilities; the opportunity to explore your spirit more deeply than you imagined possible. I drive you further than you would ever go on your own, working harder, seeking answers to your many questions with no answers.

I am the child who cannot talk.
I am the child who cannot walk. The world seems to pass me by. You see the longing in my eyes to get out of this chair, to run and play like other children. There is much you take for granted. I want the toys on the shelf, I need to go to the bathroom, oh I've dropped my fork again. I am dependent on you in these ways. My gift to you is to make you more aware of your great fortune, your healthy back and legs, your ability to do for yourself.

Sometime people appear not to notice me; I always notice them. I feel not so much envy as desire, desire to stand upright, to put one foot in front of the other, to be independent. I give you awareness. I am the child who cannot walk.

I am the child who is mentally impaired. I don't learn easily, if you judge me by the world's measuring stick, what I do know is infinite joy in simple things. I am not burdened as you are with the strifes and conflicts of a more complicated life. My gift to you is to grant you the freedom to enjoy things as a child, to teach you how much your arms around me mean, to give you love. I give you the gift of simplicity. I am the child who is mentally impaired.
I am the disabled child. I am your teacher. If you allow me, I will teach you what is really important in life. I will give you and teach you unconditional love. I gift you with my innocent trust, my dependency upon you. I teach you about how precious this life is and about not taking things for granted. I teach you about forgetting your own needs and desires and dreams. I teach you giving. Most of all I teach you hope and faith.
I am the disabled child.

I Am By Dillon York

I AM
By: Dillon York

I am not retarded.
I wonder how I got to be viewed that way.
I hear that dreaded word and shudder.
I see everything without quite looking.
I want trusting friends who dont utter that word.
I am not retarded.
I am Timothy! (place your childs name hear)
I pretend I dont hear it, but I feel every nasty letter.
I touch the hearts and minds of all I meet, yet I worry what they think.
I cry inside because I am not retarded.
I understand everything, I understand it all.
I say what's on my mind, and people nod and smile.
I dream of true acceptance.
I try my very best.
I hope that people truly see, I am not retarded. I am simply me.

Someone I Love By Lori Hickman

Someone I Love
By Lori Hickman

Someone I love relies on me in ways you will never understand.
Someone I love endures pain and challenges that break my heart and renew my spirit at the same time.
Someone I love is unable to advocate for themselves for things that most of us take for granted.
Someone I love will never have the opportunities that every child should have.
Someone I love will need unconditional love and support after I am gone - this frightens me to the core.
Someone I love encounters pity, stereotyping responses, and prejudice at every turn, because they look, act, and/or learn differently than others. Someone I love has needs that require me to allow "outsiders" to have power and input in areas that should be mine alone to meet.
Someone I love will continue to look to me for everything in life long after other children are able to assume a place as part of the world.
Someone I love has needs that require more time and energy than I have to give.
Someone I love has needs that mean I am not able to meet basic needs of my own.
Someone I love has needs that have become the driving force behind major decisions my family makes.
Someone I love has changed me in ways I will never be able to describe. Someone I love has taught me about love and about the really important things in life...

And still others don't understand what it is to be me.. they aren't living in my skin.

The Brave Little Soul

The Brave Little Soul

'Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. He especially enjoyed the love he saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day he saw suffering in the world. He approached God and sadly asked, 'Why do bad things happen? Why is there suffering in the world?'

God paused for a moment and replied, 'Little Soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people's hearts.'

The little soul was confused. 'What do you mean?' he asked.

God replied, 'Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone.'The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued. 'The suffering soul unlocks the love in people's hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love - to create this miracle - for the good of all humanity.'

Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain himself. With his wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, 'I am brave; let me go!! I would love to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people's hearts! I want to create that miracle!!'

God smiled and said, 'You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you.'

God and the brave little soul shared a smile, and then embraced. In parting, God said, 'Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed.'

Thus at that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through his suffering and God's strength, he unlocked the goodness and love in people's hearts. For so many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Many began new spiritual journeys - some regained lost faith - many came back to God. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. People checked a website and sent notes of encouragement. People made and brought meals to the family of the suffering. Everyone prayed. Peace and love reigned. Lives changed forever. It was good. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened.

God was pleased ......

Celebrating Holland - I'm Home By Cathy Anthony

Celebrating Holland- I'm Home
By Cathy Anthony
(my follow-up to the original \Welcome to Holland\ by Emily Perl Kingsley)

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned.

I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger, the pain and uncertainty. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay.

Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time.
I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.
Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring.

Holland wasn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to
become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

Welcome To Holland By Emily Perl Kingsley

Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. Michelangelo's David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go.

Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills... and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.